eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Mar 31, 2010 14:04:02 GMT 8
Thanks Kit71. He's better now. Gosh ... It's alright .... no worries. Hope everything will be fine ...
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Mar 20, 2010 11:49:10 GMT 8
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Mar 17, 2010 15:57:34 GMT 8
But no $$$ and also Road Tax & Insurance need more $$$.....
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Mar 16, 2010 16:11:38 GMT 8
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Mar 15, 2010 19:47:54 GMT 8
Alamak, you more senior than me leh.....maybe your list of playground even more than me and I still got alot to learn from you. Heeeheehee....I'm waiting bro.....call me. Do you know of any playground that is safe? Long time no play, a bit itchy.
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Mar 11, 2010 15:16:51 GMT 8
Heeeheehee....I'm waiting bro.....call me.
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Mar 9, 2010 20:47:09 GMT 8
Date: 19 March 2010, Friday Time: 7:30pm onwards Location: Carpark Next To Kallang KFC
1) Bernard 2) eddyp 3) 4) 5) 6) 7) 8) 9) 10)
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Mar 2, 2010 9:27:18 GMT 8
While walking down the street one day an MP is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the MP.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity..."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the MP.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are all having such a good time that before the MP realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."
The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.
"I don't understand," stammers the MP. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
The devil smiles at him and says, "Yeste rday we were campaigning... Today, you voted."
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Mar 2, 2010 0:45:18 GMT 8
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Mar 2, 2010 0:42:45 GMT 8
Sometimes got it from my other half....oops
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Mar 2, 2010 0:41:55 GMT 8
No problem themostextreme. With time like this, just a laugh will help to brighter up everyone.
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Feb 23, 2010 15:14:28 GMT 8
Welcome viknesh.....
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Feb 23, 2010 15:10:20 GMT 8
err.......venue leh??
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Feb 5, 2010 21:40:20 GMT 8
We don't understand Women : Their "Whatever" "Anything" OR "You Decide" 1 . (Whatever) Men: What should we have for dinner? Women: Whatever.. Men: Why don't we have Mexican? Women: No not Mexican, the last time i got pimples on my face Men: Alright, why don't we have Szechwan cuisine Women: Yesterday we ate Szechwan, today too? Men: Hmm..... I suggest we have seafood Women: Seafood is not good, I got diarrhea Men: Then what do you suggest? Women : Whatever.. 2. (Anything) Men: So what should we do now? Women: Anything Men: How about watching a movie? It's been a long time Women: Watching movie is no good, it's a waste of time Men: How about we go for bowling, or some exercises? Women: Exercise on such a hot day? Men: Then find a cafe and have a drink Women: I am off caffeine Men: Then what do you suggest? Women: Anything 3. (You decide) Men: Then do we just go home? Women: You decide Men: Let's take the bus, I will accompany you Women: The bus is dirty and crowded. Men: OK; we will take a cab Women: Not worth it... for such a short distance Men: All right, then we can walk. We can enjoy the weather Women: I am hungry, can't walk. Men: Then what do you suggest? Women: You decide Men: Let's have dinner first? Women: Whatever... Men: What shall we eat? Women: Anything.. ============ ========= =========[/color][/color]
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Feb 5, 2010 21:28:56 GMT 8
Dear employees, Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination) . Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants and Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Feb 5, 2010 21:08:14 GMT 8
I'm very disappointed that C&C only bring in 2WD. If they have bring in 4WD, I'll definitely book it this year. But now, have to wait and see around.
Boo hoo hoo hoo hooo....
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Feb 5, 2010 21:01:56 GMT 8
Aiyah, just let me know when and I'll be there.
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Nov 25, 2009 10:03:36 GMT 8
Hi, Maybe you want to check with ManCanDo, www.mancando.com/, or HOS Automotive Singapore (67778148). Hope the above does help.
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Oct 9, 2009 14:48:13 GMT 8
Hi guy, Hope you like it....or may be sweat a little while reading it..ha ha ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----- A Lady Teacher was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,'Boy. What is your problem?' Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!' Madam took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his Questions he had to go back to the first-grade. Madam agreed. The Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?' Boy.: '9'. Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?' Boy.: '36'. And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.' Madam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions'. 'Can I ask him ?' The principal and Boy both agreed. Madam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'? Boy, after a moment 'Legs.' Madam: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?' Boy.: 'Pockets.' Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, Delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Boy.: Coconut Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge. Boy.: Bubblegum Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.. Boy.: Shake hands Madam: You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Boy.: Tent Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg. Boy.: Wedding Ring Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. Boy.: Nose Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. Boy.: Arrow Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement? Boy.: Fire truck Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand. Boy.: Fork Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married? Boy.: SURNAME. Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, likes pumping, and is responsible for making love ? Boy.: HEART. The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, 'Send this Boy to 10th Grade' I got the last ten questions wrong myself...... ....!!!!! !!!!'
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Oct 9, 2009 14:11:25 GMT 8
Frauds involving GPS and Mobile Phones
This gives us something to think about with all our new electronic technology. GPS A couple of weeks ago a friend told me that someone she knew had their car broken into while they were at a football game. Their car was parked on the green which was adjacent to the football stadium and specially allotted to football fans. Things stolen from the car included a garage door remote control, some money and a GPS which had been prominently mounted on the dashboard. When the victims got home, they found that their house had been ransacked and just about everything worth anything had been stolen. The thieves had used the GPS to guide them to the house. They then used the garage remote control to open the garage door and gain entry to the house. The thieves knew the owners were at the football game, they knew what time the game was scheduled to finish and so they knew how much time they had to clean out the house. It would appear that they had brought a truck to empty the house of its contents.. Something to consider if you have a GPS - don't put your home address in it. Put a nearby address (like a store or gas station) so you can still find your way home if you need to, but no one else would know where you live if your GPS were stolen. MOBILE PHONES I never thought of this....... This lady has now changed her habit of how she lists her names on her mobile phone after her handbag was stolen. Her handbag, which contained her cell phone, credit card, wallet... Etc...was stolen. 20 minutes later when she called her hubby, from a pay phone telling him what had happened, hubby says 'I received your text asking about our Pin number and I've replied a little while ago.' When they rushed down to the bank, the bank staff told them all the money was already withdrawn. The thief had actually used the stolen cell phone to text 'hubby' in the contact list and got hold of the pin number.. Within 20 minutes he had withdrawn all the money from their bank account. Moral of the lesson: Do not disclose the relationship between you and the people in your contact list. Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby, Sweetheart, Dad, Mom, etc.... And very importantly, when sensitive info is being asked through texts, CONFIRM by calling back. Also, when you're being text by friends or family to meet them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came from them. If you don't reach them, be very careful about going places to meet 'family and friends' who text you. *PLEASE PASS THIS ON * I never thought about the above! As of now, I no longer have 'home' listed on
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Oct 3, 2009 0:55:54 GMT 8
My husband is S/W Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders. Two years of courtship and now, five years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings. I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband is my complete opposite; his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about LOVE. One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce. "Why?" he asked, shocked. "I am tired. There are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seemingly in deep thought. My feeling of disappointment only increased. Here was a man who was not able to even express his predicament, so what else could I expect from him? And finally he asked me: "What can I do to change your mind?" Somebody said it right... It's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered: "Here is the question. If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind. Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you do it for me?" He said: "I will give you your answer tomorrow.... " My hopes just sank by listening to his response. I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes.... My dear, "I would not pick that flower for you, but....please allow me to explain the reasons further..... This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading. "When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen. I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city. I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month. I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy. You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes. I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand...and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the colour of the glow on your young face... Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die ... " My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting. .. and as I continue on reading... "Now, that you have finished reading my answer, and if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk... I rushed to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread....Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone... That's LIFE, and LOVE. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness. Love shows up in all forms; even in very small and cheeky forms. It has never been a model. It could be the dullest and most boring form ... Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... AND THAT'S LIFE
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Oct 3, 2009 0:34:02 GMT 8
A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!" Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!" His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, "LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!" Moral : Self-induced hangover - $400.00 Broken crockery - $800.00 Breakfast - $10.00 Saying the Right Thing While Drunk – "PRICELESS"
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Oct 1, 2009 21:37:45 GMT 8
Damn Fine Explanation for Cheating on Wife
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!' And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!' And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight.. The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.' The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?
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eddyp
Gear THREE
Posts: 341
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Post by eddyp on Aug 31, 2009 2:41:56 GMT 8
paisay guys last minute cannot make it. Was sick that day. Do hope everyone does try to try turn up.
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